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I read over my journal yesterday to reflect on what has transpird over the past month or so and it was a bit of a drag. Kinda brought me down a notch. But at the same time Iapos;m glad that Iapos;ve been able to keep a relatively level head throughout everything and in the big picture Iapos;m .....well I wouldnapos;t say Iapos;m -happy- but..you know. I think Iapos;m doing okay with the hand Iapos;ve been dealt.

I donapos;t really blame myself so much for the way things turned out between Meghan and I anymore. We both played our parts. Frankly the more I think about it the more...I donapos;t know...bitter? I get about the whole thing. You guys were right about being too nice. It took me some time to come around, but I did.

Weapos;re meeting with a mediator on the 3rd of next month to get everything officially sorted out regarding the house and finalizing the divorce. So thatapos;s good. A step forward in the right direction.

Anyway - when I was still at the house and I sympathized with her and was all "This is all my fault, you poor thing. Just because Iapos;m leaving doesnapos;t mean I wonapos;t help you if you need it." Well today I got an email from her.

She informed me that there was a bug going around the office and as a result she missed a couple of Saturdays - which she figured into her budget to make ends meet. And now she thinks sheapos;s going to come up short this month - do I think I can I help her out?

First thing that crosses my mind? A bug going around the office? Mmhm. Sure. You sure you werenapos;t out late on Friday with your boss screwinapos; around and just decided not to work the following day? Or maybe the two of you hooked up on Saturday instead of going to work?

I guess I am a little bitter, eh? She does have manipulative tendencies, though. I guess thatapos;s another reason why I think like that.

I reply asking how much she thinks shes going to be short.

Her response - ver batim: "i know this is a lot, but $500 would make me comfortable."

Oh really? Thatapos;d make you comfortable? Let me get my checkbook.

I respond and tell her that thereapos;s simply no way I can swing that much. $100, $200 -maybe-. With this next paycheck I have to pay rent for next month ($450), utilities for this month ($200ish) and weapos;re going to be filling up the propane (propane heat) tank - but weapos;re putting that off until the end of the month since prices are dropping so rapidly. So I wouldnapos;t really have a definite answer until the end of the month.

The response that follows was to the tune of "Alright, nevermind. Thanks for considering it though."

I know some of you reading this are thinking "What the hell, why would you even consider helping her?" but then Iapos;d remind you that my name is still on the mortgage, so if that doesnapos;t get paid then it hurts me too.

I just want to get this shit behind me, man.
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